Harry Potter and the 3rd Eye
by tegan morrison
Summary: I didn't like the new book, so I decided I'm writing my own MUCH smaller version. Harry sees the future  junior Harry's are running around and he still had bad hair. Reveiws are love!
1. Chapter 1

"Harry, do you want to do saving the world or not?" Hermionie said quickly whilst continuing her proud stride toward the colourful tent in the horizon. Hermionie insisted on looking after them now that they were travelling, Hermionie's latest idea was talking to a 3rd eye, which was witch nerd talk for someone who could see the future and charged money for it. Hermionie was hiding her sexual frustration for Ron by keeping us busy which kept her busy, she was ether feeding us, cleaning us up or hugging us. Ron wasn't hiding, he was even frustrated, he just watched her, his hobby had now become dropping quills and watching Hermionie pick them up. Harry was trying his best to hide his sexual frustration by watching old reruns of Sesame street and watching his Elmo do the chicken dance. He had the theory that Elmo was actually a very sexy creature, covered in red hair...

"Can we do it without the dying. That part can get messy," Harry tried to keep up with Hermionie's purposeful stride. He was ether eating way to much or way to little these days depending on how far Grinnots was. Today was a too much day. If he walked any faster he would be forced to Accio his broom. "Hermionie, seriously though, I know the perfect thing to get your mind of all this impending doom, death, gloom, suffering."

Hermionie's ears perked up, but she continued walking at an unhealthily fast pace, damn growth spurts. She finally turned around to face him which made Ron stop too because he was following her at a very intimate distance, surprisingly enough Hermionie let him.

"Fine, what is it?" She asked. He realised she was trembling, he didn't want her to start hugging him and crying again. She had been continuing with this increasingly annoying habit ever since Dumbledore. Ron and Harry simply sat in bed sobbing quietly then waking up exhausted and pretending they were daisy fresh and petal smooth.

Harry put his hands on both of Harmionie's shoulders and guided her gently toward Ron, then he guided Ron next to Hermionie. He waited and watched as he enjoyed their oncoming discomfort as they both slowly began to realise what he was proposing.

"Ready. Set. SHAG! I promise I wont watch," he turned around to prove it, "see!" Ron smiled, while Hermionie being the sweet, simple, virginal minded girl she is turned a vivid scarlet red colour and prompted to punish Harry by practically running to the tent from then on. It wasn't until they reached it's entrance that she barley slowed down. Harry thoroughly rejected her career choice as faithful sidekick and wondered if he should advise her toward a such as an Olympic walker. She had the speed.

As soon as Hermionie entered the tent she was thrown back by the aroma of old gym socks, cat pee and burnt hair. It was horrible. She thought that she might pass out into Ron's awaiting and obliging arms. Liking someone wasn't enough, he had to come to her GROVELLING, he broke her heart, she risked so much with ruining their friendship and all that, he ditched her for LAVENDER. He was a snog whore. What was wrong with her lips or tongue? It could of easily of been her tongue shoved forcefully down his throat, before Hermionie finished her thought a creepy eerie voice came from behind an ancient oriental dressing frame from the back of the tent.

"Hello, dearies!" The woman dramatically as she positioned her hands in a theatrical position above her head. "Welcome to my humble abode!" Ron snorted at that remark, he couldn't help but see that humble was the best thing to describe her abode. It looked like a refugee, fleeing your home land motif's, if the refugees were gypsies who had a hippy fetish.

"Let me guess. You're HARRY POTTER. My eye is strong, I see all, I know all!" Hermionie was the one to let out an impressive snort to the latest comment by weird hippy, gypsy, third eye lady.

"No offence lady but I reckon a neon sign would be slightly less obvious. His scar is sort of a dead give away, for as I can see with my two eyes it does take up rather a large part of his forehead," said Hermionie in that matter of factly tone that made Harry cringe and Ron sigh as his fantasy of Hermionie with a whip began replaying in his mind. He couldn't help his hormones and any man that could was worthy of sainthood. Hell, in Ron's book that bloke should run for Jesus.

"You have come to seek guidance during your quest. Very well.. Let me see..." The woman sat gracefully down on a stool and positioned her palm and fingers around a large glass ball.

"That's glass," said Ron. He felt some how cheated. He wanted this third eyed Cyclopes freak to read a freaking crystal ball, if he wanted to see someone mess with glass he would go back home and watch Bill, Fred and George debate over whether Fleur would notice that her engagement ring was actually a cubic zirconia.

"What? You have money for crystal, you go buy it!" Ron shut the hell up. He didn't want to buy weird hippy, 3rd eye lady a crystal ball. She peered into the ball and Hermionie did so too. Ron immediately shuffled to the opposite end of the crystal ball area to take his chances looking down her top. Harry wasn't really interested in this whole experience. He just hoped if the lady pranced around him with a woo woo stick and some holly water it might calm Hermionie down for a few days and let him get back to his Elmo and mourning over his lost love. "I see you have a question," third eye lady said. Everyone sort of turned to each other. "I meant the dude with the scar you bunch of bloody Poms!!" She screeched in what was unmistakably a thick stereotypical Australian accent.

"What did you say?" Asked Harry with one eyebrow questioningly raised at the now not to exotic stranger with weird taste and a cheap round ball that she attempted to pass off as crystal.

"Nothing!" She quickly said, slipping back into her thick exotic accent. "You want to know if you have a future and whether Elmo is male or female?" Harry blushed. Damn sexy Sesame street characters covered in red fur. "You more-so want to know the future one." Harry didn't even bother, he hoped if he moved as little as possible she would be able to know less about him and his sexual fantasies involving Elmo, Oscar the grouch and Bert.

"I can take you there. Keep your arms and legs in the vision at all times," advised the third eye. Hermionie hadn't been counting on actually going anywhere and doing anything.

"Your not coming with us?" She asked nervously. She was afraid of many things, hamburgers eating her in her sleep, and sheep becoming our holly masters, but right now she was absolutely scared of being completely alone in the vision of the future with the man she hoped to share that future with. Harry was scared Ron and Hermionie would walk on a Ginny and Harry love making session. Well, to be perfectly honest he was sort of hoping that would happen.

"I don't do premonitions, too much waiting around and pretending you care. Bring me back a t-shirt or a human sacrifice. Which ever." Everything rushed past them until they were in a completely new environment, but it felt like a completely new world.

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I don't Harry Potter. Reviews are love.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry realised that he'd been standing completely still for several moments, his body seemed afraid to relax. This was just like the time when Snape was describing his bondage fantasies and he refused to open his eyes when he offered to dance for him. 'Dance sexy' as he said it.

He finally took a deep breathe in and opened his eyes and let himself relax. He was in a room painted an almost blinding combination of hot neon pink an neon lime green. A young girl with long black messy hair was lying in her bed sleeping soundly. She had such white skin that it almost looked transparent. Her blankets were arranged haphazardly around her bed in a way that made her half covered. She was wearing those annoying male boxer shorts that said boner or big one or one of those sorts of sad male slogans. Her singlet said 'lets get physical' in mint green script across the back.

He eventually noticed that Ron and Hermionie were there too. Ron was checking out the girl in the bed. Hermionie was checking Ron and realised he was checking the girl in the bed out and redirected her gaze to the girl in the bed so she could give her a death glare.

"Christ! She's hot" Ron said wasting no time on details.

"LILLY WAKE THE HELL UP!" Screamed grown up version of Harry. She rolled over and opened one deep green eye and closed it again and buried her head in the blankets in her bed as a sign of protest. Grown up Harry glared. "Get up, get up please. Make me look like a competent father just this once." This time she opened both her eyes and smiled faintly and rolled onto her back. He look expectantly at her. When she didn't move for more then 3 seconds he glared. "Fine! But after your mother yells at me she's gunna some up here and kick your sorry arse."

"Hot ey? Ronny Boy" questioned Harry. Ron glared at him. Then he did his smug grin that he did when he had a good comeback.

"Yeah. Hot. Smouldering hot. Your daughter hot is the same kind of hot you felt for my sister or another one of gods creepy creatures, covered in red hair, that you programmed to sing get down tonight!" Harry shut the hell up. He knew how close Ron was to his secret Elmo obsession. Even though Sirius had already told him not to be ashamed and that he understood but was personally into the cookie monster, he couldn't help but think he should keep it slightly under wraps.

Lilly rolled back over and snuggled back into the warm confines of her bed, until a boy with an odd almost overgrown mullet appeared at the door. His freckles were so scattered across his face that it looked almost orange. His big brown eyes looked so much like someone Harry knew.

"Lill, I love you and all, but common, there are pancakes downstairs, do you realise we have like a billion family members, if you don't get down their fast you wont be able to eat till lunch." Lilly raised her head slightly and smiled.

"Pancakes, ey Gran?" She asked with a half smile. The boy grabbed her arm and dragged her down stairs.

Hermionie looked at Ron and made a face. "You named your kid Gran? What's wrong with you?" Ron made an equally impressive face back and then smiled and came extremely close to Hermionie so that their noses were almost touching.

"I don't think I named him Gran, Hermionie." He made a point of moving back and not saying a word until the silence hung in the air uncomfortably and Hermionie blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about," she choked out awkwardly ignoring the fact that infact Ron's child possessed Hermionie's eyes.

Harry started on his way down the stairs, he realised it must be Christmas holidays, there was a huge tree in the corner and everything was red, green or white. The huge dining table in the middle didn't seem big enough for the huge brood, he noticed a teenage boy about Lilly's age that looked suspiciously like Remus but with Tonks's wide kind smile. Fred and George were all adult with semi beards and huge grins that meant something funny was going to happen, but Harry had stopped, he was looking at someone else. Her red hair was in a bob cut, with bangs, her brown eyes were almost hidden behind them. She smiled as she was weighed down by the weight of the huge bowl of pastry that she was carrying to the table. Harry watched the grown up Ginny with utter fascination. She looked rather pretty, she was taller, with bigger breasts but that wasn't it. She was changed. She seemed happy – content and happy.

Ginny kept glancing nervously to the other room finally placing the pastry on the table and casually opening the door. There adult Harry was, deeply immersed in a piece of parchment he was reading, a gurgling baby girl in his lap. Her utterly adorable tiny pigtails held together with ribbon tickled her fathers forearm. In a bid to keep her busy Harry turned away from his parchment long enough to pick up a toy for her to play with, she quickly discarded the green, wormlike soft toy and tried to make a grab for Harry's quill. Her wide green eyes were alive with sugar and youth. It wasn't until that moment when Harry looked into the eyes of his youngest future child that he truly felt that everything would be fine.

"Anyone home?" Called Ginny teasingly from the doorway. "I was wondering if you could help me. I'm looking for my husband, now, I know you look like him, and you're in his office, with his child but you can't be him because he promised me that he was going to be Mr. Happy Freaking Family just for today. He's going to do this because his loving, faithful, gorgeous wife who sacrificed her hips and legs and gained stretchmarks and whole lotta children for him asked him to."

Harry smiled. Ron smelled Hermionie's hair and Hermionie looked approvingly at Harry.

Don't own – Reviews are love. Flamers suck hairy donkey balls.


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